Green Energy
Customer: Hello. I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.
Receptionist: Yes! I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.
Customer: Thanks, I ordered a “Spring Bouquet” for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife.
Receptionist: Interrupting, Sir, “Spring Bouquets” do not meet our minimum standards; I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.
Customer: But I have always ordered “Spring Bouquets”, done it for years, my wife likes them.
Receptionist: Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them.
Receptionist: It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package.
Customer: What’s the difference?
Receptionist: 6, 12, 18 or 24 Red Roses.
Customer: The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?
Receptionist: It depends sir, what is your monthly income?
Customer: What does that have to do with anything?
Receptionist: I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out-of-pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.
Customer: FlowerAid?
Receptionist: Yes, Flowers are a right. Everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can’t afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.
Customer: Who said they were a right?
Receptionist: Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it constitutional.
Customer: Whoa! I don’t remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding flowers as a right.
Receptionist: It is not really a “Right in the Constitution,” but ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a “Tax”. Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a right.
Customer: I don’t believe this.
(Receptionist) It's the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated
most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly
income sir?
(Customer) Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.
(Receptionist) In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.
(Customer) Why?
(Receptionist) To determine what your 'non-participation' cost would be.
(Customer) WHAT? You can't charge me for NOT buying flowers!
(Receptionist) It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It's $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.....
(Customer)interrupting) This is ridiculous, I'll pay the $9.50..
(Receptionist) Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.
(Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a ripoff!!
(Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.
(Customer) Look, I'm going to call my Congressman to find out what's going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to pay it.
(Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that's why I had the NSA
track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone your are
using.
(Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?
(Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates sir
(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)
(Receptionist) That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling ObamaFlowers, have a nice day...and God Bless America.
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Green Energy
OBAMA'S FLOWERS
Receptionist: Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers, My name is Peggy. How can I help you?
Customer: Hello. I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.
Receptionist: Yes! I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.
Customer: Thanks, I ordered a “Spring Bouquet” for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife.
Receptionist: Interrupting, Sir, “Spring Bouquets” do not meet our minimum standards; I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.
Customer: But I have always ordered “Spring Bouquets”, done it for years, my wife likes them.
Receptionist: Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them.
Customer: Well, how much are they?
Receptionist: It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package.
Customer: What’s the difference?
Receptionist: 6, 12, 18 or 24 Red Roses.
Customer: The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?
Receptionist: It depends sir, what is your monthly income?
Customer: What does that have to do with anything?
Receptionist: I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out-of-pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.
Customer: FlowerAid?
Receptionist: Yes, Flowers are a right. Everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can’t afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.
Customer: Who said they were a right?
Receptionist: Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it constitutional.
Customer: Whoa! I don’t remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding flowers as a right.
Receptionist: It is not really a “Right in the Constitution,” but ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a “Tax”. Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a right.
Customer: I don’t believe this.
(Receptionist) It's the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated
most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly
income sir?
(Customer) Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.
(Receptionist) In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.
(Customer) Why?
(Receptionist) To determine what your 'non-participation' cost would be.
(Customer) WHAT? You can't charge me for NOT buying flowers!
(Receptionist) It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It's $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.....
(Customer)interrupting) This is ridiculous, I'll pay the $9.50..
(Receptionist) Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.
(Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a ripoff!!
(Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.
(Customer) Look, I'm going to call my Congressman to find out what's going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to pay it.
(Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that's why I had the NSA
track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone your are
using.
(Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?
(Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates sir
(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)
(Receptionist) That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling ObamaFlowers, have a nice day...and God Bless America.
- Eritrean Receptionist Of The Pope, Seven Months Pregnant, Found Dead At Home Under Suspicious Circumstances.
From Radio Vatican: A young receptionist of the papal residence " Santa Marta " died unexpectedly at home . The 34 -year-old , born in Eritrea Miriam Wuolou was found in her apartment on the outskirts of Rome dead , reports the daily newspaper " Il Messaggero...
- Judge Orders Google To Turn Over Customer Data To Fbi Without Warrant
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face — forever. George Orwell From Newsmax: SAN FRANCISCO — A federal judge has ordered Google Inc. to comply with FBI warrantless demands for customer data. U.S....
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It may or may not be a rare case of one Muslim woman from the House of Saud who attacks non-Muslims, but I will have to note that The Blaze is being rather misleading when they say she spat at "white people" in Florida. The UK Mail, which tells the longer...
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For the sixth year in a row, the U.S. Solar Electric Power Association (SEPA) has ranked utilities across the nation in terms of how much solar energy they have incorporated into their user base. This year's report shows that solar is...