Oh, man, I was going to get some cocoa, but @SenTomCotton sent a stern letter to Starbucks saying I had no authority to order hot drinks.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
Dear Smaug, We, the undersigned, don't know if you truly understand about negotiating with dirty cup thieves. Signed, @SenTomCotton
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
Dear King George, we totally don't think you should pay attention to that George Washington dude, he's mean. Signed, @SenTomCotton
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
I think @SenTomCotton is the guy who pulled the school fire alarm when he didn't get to play in Little League.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
Right now, @SenTomCotton is giving an IHOP waitress a bad lecture on the Bill of Rights instead of a tip.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
Boy,if Tiger Beat ever starts spotlighting the hottest creeps undermining our foreign policy, @SenTomCotton will be on every cover.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
I am of the opinion that if someone actually read the constitution to @SenTomCotton, he'd burst into flames.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
"Dear WWII, I am not sure if you are a country but the constitution and my mom say I should be president. THANKS! Signed, @SenTomCotton"
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
Also, I was trying to figure out which kind of dinosaur @SenTomCotton reminded me of and SURPRISE! It's a brachiosaurus!
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
I am worried that @SenTomCotton will remain popular with his sauropod base, being a home town brachiosaurus, even though he hates the law.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
Honest to god, I am not trying to be mean, but doesn't @SenTomCotton look like they put a suit on the Jurassic Park sequel?
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
He should never be president, what if he interrupts delicate trade negotiations to high-branch forage? @SenTomCotton
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
That would explain that haircut, holy CRAP. @NewMutant @SenTomCotton
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
Dear @SenTomCotton, do you deny being a walnut-brained, homeothermic brachiosaurus? Also, could you explain the Constitution to my cat?
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
WOW. @SenTomCotton is not new to condescending to people, holy crap. Read THIS chunk of bullshit: http://t.co/ywQDo51FQ3
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
TELL me he's not about to chew some healthy leaves off a high branch using his long, articulated neck. @SenTomCotton pic.twitter.com/JfxNIXRiBU
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
My feeling is that @SenTomCotton is the Die Hard movie even Bruce Willis turned down.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 10, 2015
I am the only person not included on the Avengers: Age of Ultron poster. Me and Winston Churchill and he's totally dead or something.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 11, 2015