Green Energy
From the Uncyclopedia:
- Europe Sends Almost As Many Jihadists To Fight For Isis As They Sent To Aid Us During The Iraq War
Islamic State crisis: ’3,000 European jihadists join fight’Let me be clear that I, personally, do not include the UK as being part of Europe. I know the UK is part of the European Union, but the UK has never conducted itself like other European nations. ...
- Europe Sends Almost As Many Jihadists To Fight For Isis As They Sent To Aid Us During The Iraq War
Islamic State crisis: ’3,000 European jihadists join fight’Let me be clear that I, personally, do not include the UK as being part of Europe. I know the UK is part of the European Union, but the UK has never conducted itself like other European nations. ...
- Assembly Of Muslim Jurists Of America Say "no Offensive Jihad At This Time" ... Later Yeah, Just Not Now
From Radical Islam.Org: The Assembly of Muslim Jurists of America (AMJA) opposes offensive jihad in the West, but for reasons that may surprise you. In an Arabic fatwa (religious decree) that doesn’t appear on its English...
- We Are All Danes Now!
“Hold your ground, hold your ground. Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship,...
- Spare Change?
It’s no surprise that Hamas considers the cutoff of foreign money to be “blackmail.” After all, that’s what a teenager always considers the threatened withholding of his allowance to be. “Dad! You can’t do that; it’s not fair!”...
Green Energy
The Real Definition of Jihad
From the Uncyclopedia:
Jihad (also jehad, gehad, gihad, ʒehad, ʒihad or yihad [1]) is an Arabic word which literally means "Party!" However, in modern day usage it refers to a (JIHAD!!) hobby that focuses on blowing up several infidels by strapping bombs to a terminally ill cancer patient volunteer and detonating them by yelling ALLAHU AKBAR!!! in the hopes of converting them to your religion. Interestingly the word infidel used to be defined exclusively as 'those not following the teachings of Great Prophet' (Jews, Christians, Hindus, Little Endians, etc) In some places there was an acute shortage of these, especially in those countries where Jihad (JIHAD!!) is most popular. So a ruling was made by the Arab League Olympic Committee to 'open up' the definition to include anybody who doesn't agree 100% to everything you think, say and do. This ended the infidel drought and allowed teams in developing countries to get in much needed pre-tournament practice. Strangely enough Fidel Castro is an infidel.
Jihad is currently the national sport of Syria, and they beat Saudi Arabia in the Jihad World Cup, despite also losing themselves(JIHAD!!). Jihad became popular after the Intifada (JIHAD!!) of 1974, when Jihad became the official hobby (JIHAD!!) of the Middle East. Hummus and Fatah officials quickly accepted this rather brutal activity as a legitimate hobby, (possibly the only thing they have ever agreed on). (JIHAD!!) Most Jihadists quote popular propaganda from such radical America-haters (JIHAD!!) as Osama Bin Laden, Yasser Arafat and George Bush (JIHAD!!).
As in many world sports The USA play their own version with subtly different rules. The US version is based on an ancient European game called crusade also known as 'Holier than thou' or 'Who's God is it anyway?'. The modern player, as with (JIHAD!!) uses high explosives as a debating strategy however larger bombs are used and the player who detonates them is 15,000 miles away when it goes off.
To encourage jihadists they are told that they will spend all eternity with twenty virgins should they die in battle. Ever spent time with twenty virgins eh? Incessant giggling and strong conviction that a kiss on the cheek will rock your world. They are virgins for a REASON guy. Now if you would get eternity with twenty dirty, dirty f**kers I might join myself.
Jihad usually occurs before the muslims have met any of the virgins.
- Europe Sends Almost As Many Jihadists To Fight For Isis As They Sent To Aid Us During The Iraq War
Islamic State crisis: ’3,000 European jihadists join fight’Let me be clear that I, personally, do not include the UK as being part of Europe. I know the UK is part of the European Union, but the UK has never conducted itself like other European nations. ...
- Europe Sends Almost As Many Jihadists To Fight For Isis As They Sent To Aid Us During The Iraq War
Islamic State crisis: ’3,000 European jihadists join fight’Let me be clear that I, personally, do not include the UK as being part of Europe. I know the UK is part of the European Union, but the UK has never conducted itself like other European nations. ...
- Assembly Of Muslim Jurists Of America Say "no Offensive Jihad At This Time" ... Later Yeah, Just Not Now
From Radical Islam.Org: The Assembly of Muslim Jurists of America (AMJA) opposes offensive jihad in the West, but for reasons that may surprise you. In an Arabic fatwa (religious decree) that doesn’t appear on its English...
- We Are All Danes Now!
“Hold your ground, hold your ground. Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship,...
- Spare Change?
It’s no surprise that Hamas considers the cutoff of foreign money to be “blackmail.” After all, that’s what a teenager always considers the threatened withholding of his allowance to be. “Dad! You can’t do that; it’s not fair!”...