The Tale of the Land Pirates
1. In the far-off land of Liberty, in the place called Virginia, in the town of Roanoke, there did dwell some pirates.
2. Alas, since they dwelt not near the sea, where there were ships to commandeer, but near the foot of a Great Mountain Range, where no ships sailed, they found it most vexing that they could not ply their trade.
3. And so the pirates conspired one with another, saying, "O Brothers, wherefore we have neither ship to sail, nor crew to lord over, let us search among the wealthy of this town, whom we may capture and hold for ransom."
4. And they sought, among the Christian and white inhabitants of the town, and among the women, whom they deemed weak, and not very smart, for the young pirates were brazen sons of Allah and his prophet, may his feet be cemented in the Burning Furnace of the Jinn, forever, and they believed that it would be but an easy thing to capture their quarry.
5. And so they set out, and knocking on the door of the woman, made up a story to lure her into their trap.
6. Yea, and when she opened her door and saw the pirates, she screamed for help, and shut her door, catching the arm of one of the pirates, his brethren having fled.
7. And the Sheriff of Roanoke captured the pirates, and threw them into the jail, where they sit, even to this day, regretting their career choice.
Cross-posted at The Blasphemous Book of Queen Kafirtiti
- The Battle Of The Melody
Crossposted at The Blasphemous Book of Queen Kafirtiti 1. In the days when the world was governed by lawless tyrants and inhabited by savages, it was divided into two realms: The realm of the Civilized, also called The West, whose denizens were educated...
- Somali Pirates Vow To Hunt Down, Kill Americans
From AP: (AP) - Somali pirates vowed to hunt down American ships and kill their sailors and French forces detained 11 other brigands in a high-seas raid as tensions ratcheted up Wednesday off Africa's volatile eastern coast.Pirates fired grenades...
- Pirates Reportedly Demand Ransom After Captain Phillips Tried To Escape
from The Jawa Report: Pirates Reportedly Demand Ransom After Captain Phillips Tried To Escape This tugs on my heart strings. Damn, If only our snipers had their scopes on these arseholes heads, the standoff would have been over. This sucks testes. A Somali...
- Allah Be Praised!!
5 Somali pirates drown with ransom share Five of the Somali pirates who released a hijacked oil-laden Saudi supertanker drowned with their share of a reported $3 million ransom after their small boat capsized, a pirate and a relative of one of the...
- Big Money For Jihadis
Somali pirates (Jihadis) freed a Japanese chemical tanker and its crew today after a $1.6 million ransom was paid, a regional government official said. Security forces in East Africa are on high alert following the capture of a Ukranian vessel carrying...